I got on the treadmill today, not really wanting to (surpised?). I was really tired when I got up this morning. I got through 2 miles listening to a sermon by Mark Driscoll from Marshill Church http://www.marshillchurch.org/. I needed to go one more mile, ugh, so I resorted to my worship music... for some reason it gives me energy, or maybe just purpose!
As I listen to this song, which is one of my very favorite, I listen to the words.... I begin to worship, and I mean truly worship. I felt an overflowing of God's spirit hugging me. It was such a wonderful feeling. I felt tears of joy welling up in me, so strange! I mean I am running, sweating, dying of breath and God's true purpose and MIGHTINESS just fell over me. So wonderful!
Of all the things that I view as hardships right now, God views as ways to draw me in?!?!?!?
Why do we focus on ourselves and our needs so much, don't we know He is there!? He is calling for us to run to him? So I kept running...
The song repeatedly says "I CALL, YOU ANSWER, YOU CAME TO MY RESCUE AND I WANT TO BE WHERE YOU ARE!" So I thought to myself I want to be here! I WANT TO BE HERE! I WANT TO BE HERE!!!! YOU ARE HERE!!!!! Two house payments, a husband that is gone a lot right now, a season that falls way short in the world's terms!!!! BUT I WANT TO BE WHERE YOU ARE!!!! YOU ARE HERE!!!! I feel it, you are here! You are moving! GOD YOU ARE MOVING!!!!!
Thank you Jesus, in the moments I feel complete despair, you show your face and you cradle me! You give me a strength not of my own, you give me an undeniable passion, you gave me a husband that loves you and trust your ultimate control in our lives!!!! I AM SO BLESSED!!!!
God is good and He has a wonderful plan... that will bring him ULTIMATE GLORY!!!! When I can sit in that purpose and that train of thought, when I can feel his Spirit guiding our disappointment, when I can step out of it and see something bigger than Bubba and I.... I know that there is a powerful and mighty God directing our every move!
By the way, we have a wonderful, wonderful life! I am so blessed to be a mother, it is my ministry! I love our life, I love Bubba's job, I love his team, I love our home, I just feel so blessed to have been raised to understand you put Jesus in the center of it! YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG when HE IS FRONT AND CENTER!
So I finished my run with all these thoughts in my head! My prayer is that this journey God takes us on daily, remains at the front of my mind! I want to feel His presence, His passion, His heart for people! Thank you Jesus for getting me through that last mile!!!!!
AMEN
I am alive!
2 years ago
2 comments:
Awesome! That's really great to hear, thanks for sharing. I know what you mean about the worship music, I used to listen to it a lot while I ran, also. *I've been reading on the treadmill lately, which is a bit more complicated...haha*
Cortney, Wish I lived closer to you... love your honesty! Thanks for the post.
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