Secret confessions of a mommy needing grace!

So there are still so many things to write about. I just wanted to take time out of the week to sit and ponder on how much I love my kiddos!!! I sit sometimes and think about all the things I want to improve on such as... cleaning, laundry, reading, staying up on my blogs, and cooking, but at the top next to my relationship with Jesus, are my kids! I see it as the gift God gave me, as a piece of my ministry. I really want to be a great parent, sometimes in the hectic daily struggles of life, I fail them...a lot!!!!! Last week as we were sitting outside together Emma was digging for worms, Mary B. was sitting with me reading a book, and Izzy of course was heading for the street (ha!), I looked at them and thought man how sweet is it to have three precious little girls to love. Now don't get me wrong I looooooovvvvveeee Isaac more than life itself, he will always be my little boy. I just feel really privileged to be able to raise three little girls too! By the way in my professional opinion it is a lot easier to raise boys than to raise girls, although others my disagree. This past week it got a little warmer so we skipped naps and played outside. We popped popcorn, read books, and enjoyed some of our favorite things!

Speaking of which, Emma has had such a hard time letting go of her passy (bop-bop). Now the hard core mom in me takes it from her and hides it away, I mean she is three for goodness sakes. Every once in awhile she does beg and plead for it and I give in, I think part of me hopes that if she has it she will stay they small forever.

As long as I am confessing right now poor Izzy, she loves her some juice and I am telling you she can take it down!!! If I were to totally expose my poor mommy skills at times I would let you know that her favorite thing to drink is apple juice. She wants it morning, noon, and night! We are trying to wean this poor baby off of her addiction. Let's just say this will be a process.

So we did spend sometime outside last week and we also spent some time not feeling so well. Mary B had a major ear infection last week! As much as we love each other, at times we struggle to remain friends. Mary B and I had a few run ins last week that left me feeling pretty guilty as a mom. Whether we argued about clothes, shoes, hair, cereal.... she left one morning out of the week with little tears in her eyes. My heart was broken! I never like for the kids to leave for school sad. I deal with guilt on a major level when we have rough mornings like that. I HATE GUILT!!!! In fact I have been reading a book on Parenting with Grace. SOOOOOOO GOOD! I recommend it to anyone! It really describes God's grace for us and gives us very simple and practical ways of giving that grace back to our kids. The fact is clothes, shoes, and cereal are not that big of a deal! Now yes, she should be obedient and I require that, but she is unique and not like me! I love her for that! I want to give her grace in the areas that she needs to be able to express who she is. Does that make sense?

I will tell you that her little attitude was quickly understood when we got to the doctor the next day and found out that she was developing a good ole' ear infection! I was relieved to know that we still had a few good years left before that tude' reared it's ugly head for a consistent amount of time! I knew she was really sick when I laid her down on the couch and came back and she was passed out! She is so precious and so full of life, I pray I don't ever take that joy from her! Although if I am confessing... at times I know I have! The great thing is.... God can cover that! He can still use Mary B., he will still use me as her mommy! I am so glad for God's grace!

A lot of what I share on my blog is about our life, our real life! Real life isn't always easy, it's not always fun, it's sometimes quite hard, but it is however a gift. I think sometimes I loose sight of that. We will always make mistakes as mothers. One realization I have is that I will never be perfect, and no matter who I compare myself too, they aren't perfect either! Now in some small way doesn't that free us all up? The only thing that covers our imperfections is God's grace. When we lean on that, we can let go of our guilt and enjoy the gift! God is the only thing that covers our mistakes and he is the only thing that can make our mistakes okay. I think if there is one thing I could give my little girls it would be the freedom to make a mistake, the ability to show and give grace, and a love for being who they are!!!!

I am so grateful and thankful for all my kids. My heart truly want to teach and give them everything I know. I want to enjoy life with them, I want to laugh, I want to play, pretend, read, and pop popcorn. I wish the sun would shine all the time, but when it doesn't I pray that God gives me the grace I need to keep going and keep my focus on Him. I pray he grants me the wisdom to understand grace and pass it down as my children grow!